Making a pass at McSweeney's

So I was pretty late to the McSweeney's party. Not sure how such a great site escaped my attention for so long, but it did. Once I found it, though, I was determined to join the ranks of writers deemed worthy of their nod of approval.

I plowed ahead with an idea that I thought was right up their alley--introspective musings on my first two years of fatherhood. I hit on topics such as the evaporation of my disposable income, the endless viewings of inane children's animated movies, accumulated sleep debt, etc.

I delivered the entire thing with a bit of surly attitude which, evidently, proved to be a little much. To quote my rejection email:

Dad comes off as too much of a jerk...

Whoops! I'm sorry to say I just didn't see any way to soften it. Pulling back on the rancor wouldn't properly convey my mindset, and softening the whole thing would turn it into an Erma Bombeck column. (Nothing against Bombeck; just not my style.)

There were some bright spots, however:

This one makes me chuckle, but not quite enough to win me completely I’m afraid.

Hey, I extracted a chuckle or two out of the man. Upgrade that to a guffaw, and I might be in business. The rejection ended with this:

Hope you'll try again.

I didn't need much more encouragement than that. To top it off, the turnaround on my submission was incredibly fast.

Errors are made in the beginning of all courtships, and this was no different. But I felt there was a future for McSweeney's and me, so I decided that my best course of action was to regroup before knocking on McSweeney's door soon again, hoping that this time she would answer it in the editorial equivalent of a sexy nightie.

Comments

[G Money]

I seem to recall you being an "Eff Me Flip Flops" kind of paramour.